


THE THERAPY FOR LOVE UNSPOKEN

by HanabiPC



Category: SHINee
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 23:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19711456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanabiPC/pseuds/HanabiPC
Summary: The last place Lee Taemin thought he would ever find himself in is a psychiatrist’s office. But he also hadn’t expected to be dumped by his boyfriend and be so utterly wrecked by their breakup.Will a therapy session with a shrink help Taemin? Dr. Kim Kibum is about to find out.





	THE THERAPY FOR LOVE UNSPOKEN

It feels strange to Lee Taemin to be lying down on a divan couch with his shoes on. And it feels even stranger to be seeing a shrink. But maybe Taemin has in fact hit rock-bottom, so he might as well get comfortable on this gray microfiber couch, even for just an hour.

He fingers his black hair because it is unbearably awkward to stay still while anticipating the first round of questions from the psychiatrist. Then he needlessly checks the buttons on the sleeves of his sky blue dress shirt. Taemin curses himself for wearing this shirt because the back will definitely crease after an hour of lying down on the couch, which he knew beforehand that he’d be doing. But then again he wanted to look good for this appointment. He is an emotional and mental wreck, so he hardly wants to make it too obvious physically. Besides, he’s thankful he doesn’t look shabby in the presence of his sharply dressed shrink, Dr. Kim Kibum.

Kibum eyes his first-time patient with a sense of sadness. It has always pained Kibum to see beautiful things broken. And with the way Taemin is sighing in disbelief for being where he is at the moment, Kibum knows that the young man is broken, perhaps even beyond repair.

“So, Tae… Taemin. Let me just remind you that you have to be very honest with me so I can help you. You can be as open and as candid as you can. Everything that we’ll discuss here is confidential. Anyway, you mentioned that you have trouble sleeping. Can you tell me the thoughts or feelings that keep you awake all night? And when did these sleepless nights start?”

“It started when my two-year relationship ended three months ago. Needless to say that the thoughts that keep me awake at night are of my ex.”

“What are those thoughts? And when you have those thoughts about your ex, how do you feel? If you feel various emotions, which is the most dominant?”

“I think of our happy times. We were both foodies so most of our dates comprised of first-time visits to new restaurants and trips to food joints everywhere. We had a thing for obscure places that have hidden gems of eateries. We created an Instagram account to chronicle our food adventures. I was in charge of photography because I have an eye for imagery and he wrote the reviews because he has the gift of words. I think one advantage of the breakup is that I got my old figure back because it suddenly didn’t appeal to me anymore to continue going on gastronomic adventures. Too bad, since he would’ve loved holding onto my waist—my slenderest yet—when he fucks me like the furious lover that he is.”

Kibum slightly chokes on the air he just inhaled, as Taemin delivers his last sentence while holding an imaginary waist above him and thrusting his hips upwards repeatedly. Kibum then clears his throat and picks up the pen he accidentally dropped on the floor.

“I’m sorry. Please continue.”

“Of course when I think of our happy times, my mind is also bombarded with so many sexual images, since we were constantly at it. Unless we weren’t in the same city, we fucked every single day. If our appetite for food was remarkable, our appetite for sex was double. It never got mechanical for us because we were as adventurous in bed as we were when it comes to food. And we switched, so it was always exhilarating. My ex loved it when I pound him hard at the end of a busy work day. He’s delighted by the idea of being a bigshot professional at day and being down on all fours at night, begging me to fuck him hard from behind like he was a common whore. He told me it helps manage his ego, but of course it was just an excuse. He was just ashamed to admit that it is his kink to be treated like a dirty slut. And boy does he have legs that could rival any slut’s. Sometimes I request that we do it missionary style just so I could hang those lovely legs over my shoulders like an expensive silk scarf.”

Kibum shifts uncomfortably in his own chair; Taemin must be affected by the recollection because he pulls the throw pillow from under his head and settles it over his crotch for cover.

“My ex is crazy about my dancing. The way he looked at me when I dance is the biggest turn-on for me. I can get off faster by staring at his hungry eyes than by watching porn. He really has sexy eyes. We would go out clubbing just to dance for foreplay. He’s a good dancer too, but my moves are more sensual than his. We would continue our frenzied dancing at home, and no matter what song I dance to, it always ends with him sucking me off. He loved sucking my dick. Even in the morning when I am still deep in slumber, he’ll take my dick in his mouth. He said he enjoys sucking my soft and sleeping cock because it reminds him of dumplings, which are his favorite. But he said my cock is more delicious than the best dumplings he has sampled.”

Kibum is tempted to excuse himself and go to the restroom just so he could calm himself, particularly his raging hard-on. He knows how immensely wrong it is to have an erection in the middle of a therapy session no matter how unbelievably attractive his patient is. But Taemin proceeds with the graphic details of his and his ex’s lovemaking, so Kibum is forced to endure the strain inside his trousers.

“We also fooled around with food a lot. You know, merging our two passions. He knows I love sweets so he often used whipped cream. He’d lace his body with lots of it so I could lick it off him. One time we ate pancakes but after every bite I’d suck his nipples because the maple syrup was poured all over his chest. He loves chocolates so I often bought mini chocolate mousse cakes and splatter it on my crotch. He eats it off my dick and balls. He gets really ravenous. He even sucks every bit of icing clinging to my pubes. Eating desserts is our favorite foreplay. And there’s something deliciously dirty about getting our cum mixed with all those sweet sauces and creams. And of course, we have our sushi nights--“ 

It got to a point of torture, so Kibum had to interrupt Taemin. And he’s starting having trouble getting his brain to function as it should at the moment.

“Good sex doesn’t equate to a good relationship. Taemin, have you slept with anyone after the breakup? Since you said you’re bombarded with sexual thoughts at night, I can imagine how frustrating it must be.”

Taemin suddenly looks at Kibum as if the question is offensive to him.

In spite of his own discomfort in the groin area, Kibum keeps his countenance straight and professional. He raises both his eyebrows as a sign for Taemin to answer. Kibum follows it up with a hand gesture when he notices that Taemin is staring at his eyebrow—the one with the scar—instead of talking.

“I know it’s been sexually frustrating, but would you… if you were me, Dr. Kim… would you sleep with people for release?”

“I ask the questions here, Taemin. So just please answer my question.”

“No. I haven’t slept with anyone since the breakup.” Taemin looks straight into Kibum’s eyes.

Taemin expected Dr. Kim to ask him why. So he starts racking his brain for a good answer. An honest answer. But the why never came.

“So sexual thoughts and sensations are among the causes of your sleepless nights. What else? What else do you think about or feel? And then tell me which is most dominant.”

Taemin seems to have recovered from arousal since he grabs the pillow from his lap and returns it to its place under his head.

“My ex loves to cook. He makes me breakfast before he leaves for work. And when he’s not too exhausted at the end of the day, he cooks us dinner too. But I make it a point to text him and ask about it because I don’t want him wearing himself out. So when I know that it’s been a long day for him, I buy takeout dinner. If he surprises me with the dinners he makes, since our breakfasts are pretty standard—but delicious, mind you—I also surprise him when I’m buying takeout dinner. I always pick something he has never tried before.”

“Obviously, I associate food with him, so yeah, my appetite suffered after our breakup. But I don’t skip meals, okay? I’m not a self-destructive teenager pining for an ex. I eat, but more for sustenance than the experience. Eating used to be a joy for me, but it’ll never be the same without him. Oh, and I may not be the self-destructive teen I mentioned, but I do pine for him. Every minute of every day.”

Kibum stops scribbling notes but his eyes remain on the notebook he’s writing on.

“Why do you think your relationship ended, Taemin?”

Taemin stares at the office ceiling, and even if his mouth is closed, Kibum can tell that his patient is gritting his teeth. Kibum thinks of asking something else, but Taemin lets out a huge bellow of a sigh then starts talking.

“At first I thought he just got fed up with the changes in our routine and all. I became a licensed broker early this year so I started going on ocular visits and trips with clients. I was away a lot of times and I was with different people because of the job… families, couples, single women and men. But I never cheated on him. I mean, how could I? He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And even if I’ve fucked him in every way imaginable, I still couldn’t get enough of him. You know the line from that Radiohead song, ‘You’re just like an angel, your skin makes me cry’… I literally feel that way when he’s naked in front of me.” Taemin snickers but his eyes remain blank.

“Anyway, the fights started. And since I’m already unreliable when it comes to communication when I’m around, imagine how it was when I wasn’t around much. The fights started with arguments and then it soon became ugly. He’d say a lot of things and I would reply with a word or two, and that blew his top off. He has a temper. He’d never hurt me, but he’d take it out on our stuff at home. And I know that he hated himself when his temper got the best of him. That’s probably one reason why he walked out on me. I also thought that he may have been suspecting I’m cheating on him because he stopped initiating sex. And there was one time he suggested that we go to a clinic and get tested together. I also thought it’s possible that he hated being alone at home since he was so used to having me there most of the time. He often told me then that his work drains all his positive energy, so he always looks forward to coming home to me. I guess I failed him in that regard. The nature of my work really caused a strain in our relationship. But I just wanted to earn money. He was shouldering most of the expenses since we moved in together. He said it isn’t a problem because he gets paid well in his profession, but I still wanted to earn money so I could contribute something more substantial since we were supposed to be partners in everything. He should’ve known how difficult it was for me too to be away from him.”

“Does he know all this, Taemin? That you never cheated? That you actually adored him?”

“I assumed he did. But the past couple of months got me thinking a lot, and I know it’s my fault. He left because I never really talk to him. I’ve always believed I’m the type of guy who isn’t good with words and would rather express my feelings through actions. But I guess it wasn’t enough in the long run. So what’s dominant among these thoughts and feelings? I just miss him. But that simple fact always triggers a lot of other things: anger, regret, bitterness, and loneliness.”

“You don’t seem to have a problem talking to me, Taemin.”

“I’m here to get help, Doctor.”

“Well, Taemin, I think it’s obvious why you’re having trouble sleeping. You can even come up with the conclusion yourself. Clearly, you haven’t gotten over your ex.”

“No, Doctor. The problem is not that I haven’t gotten over my ex. The problem is I will never get over him. The only way I can salvage my health, my sanity, and my life is to have him back.”

“What makes you convinced that it’s possible? Or more importantly, what makes you think you deserve another chance?

“I love him.”

“Have you ever told him that?”

“I… I thought I have at some point. And I thought he knew. But anyway, I wanted to tell him after he left but he wouldn’t take my calls and wouldn’t reply to my emails and text messages. I tried seeing him but it seems he has become an expert not just in his field but in avoiding me too.”

“Taemin…”

“So I’m here now. I scheduled an appointment with your secretary. I signed a waiver, agreeing to a professional therapy session. I actually paid to be here… to talk to you and tell you that I love you and I want you back.”

This time Kibum looks straight into Taemin’s eyes too.

“On one condition.”

“Anything, Kibummie, any--“

“We’re still in session, so call me Doctor.” 

“I’m sorry, Doctor. Please tell me your condition. I’ll do anything.”

“Since this session is recorded, as all my therapy sessions are, I need you to state, for the record, that you’re mistaken and it isn’t true that your ex-boyfriend’s kink is being treated like a dirty slut.”

\--

It feels strange to Lee Taemin to be lying down on a divan couch with his shoes on. But nothing feels stranger than having his shoes still on while most of what he’s wearing has been removed.

And what he thought was going to sound strange coming from him actually feels like the most natural thing in the world to say… “Kibum, I love you,” Taemin whispers in between their kisses.

Kibum smiles as his lips travel over Taemin’s skin and he starts shaking his head because now that Taemin has said it, he cannot seem to stop… “Kibum, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

##

Thank you for reading. <3 If you loved this story, don’t forget to leave a comment. :-)


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